It’s still early for me to plan or think about having a child - as a single college student who’s still dependent on my parents. But sometimes when viral gender reveal videos pop up my social media feed, I can’t help but think “When this time comes for me, what color would I like to see when I pop the balloon?” And my subconscious answer has always been blue. When I have a child, I’d wish for a boy.
But before you light your torches and bind my wrists behind my back, let me explain. My reason is not out of the archaic misogynist thinking that women are less capable people than men. Nor do I share the Filipino mentality of having a son for him to carry our surname once he sows his seed and starts a new branch of our family. I just suppose that my child being born male would just be so much easier.
With a boy, I wouldn’t need to worry that much when he plays tag with his friends. I would just say that wounds and scars are normal. After all, it would be a great reminder that he had a good time, and that he got up again after a fall. He has less chances of having to deal with elders saying that it was such a pity that he scarred his legs because “it needed to be flawless for you to be attractive!” He wouldn’t be deemed less or less appealing just because of a small scar because that only applies to dents and scratches when it’s from an online bought product that was mishandled by the courier, right?
With a boy, I’d have less of a problem buying clothes and dressing him up. Just some cargo shorts and a simple tee would do. Or a pair of denim pants paired with a plaid button down just like the cool rock-listening teenagers do. Both would be acceptable, whether it be for a casual day at the mall or when he’s at school. Oh, at school! What a delight that he wouldn’t have to deal with the too critical and nitpicked bullets at the rule book dress code. I wouldn’t have to worry about buying clothes that are too short that people would tell him that it looks like he’s giving away his body, because his body is his! Neither would his clothes be too long and prudish, “too conservative that you wouldn’t attract any possible partner” - because his life doesn’t revolve around just pleasing and attracting these so called possible partners.
And I couldn’t stress enough how much savings I would make if my child is born with a Y chromosome. I wouldn’t worry about bras, that are expected of women because nipples are apparently too scandalous to have that a mere silhouette of it on a shirt would be disgraceful. That is, of course, except if you’re a boy - then you could walk without a shirt if you want to and you still wouldn’t be branded as lascivious. I also wouldn’t need to have double the stockpile of sanitary napkins or tampons that are ridiculously expensive and taxed because it’s not branded as a health and life necessity - ‘cause only half of the population experiences periods.
I’d probably sleep a little better at night when he starts to enjoy his life and go out at parties or dates. Maybe I wouldn’t need to feel as if it is necessary to equip him with pepper sprays, a pocket knife, and a taser gun on top just for him to have a chance of life if he’s ever cornered at a dark alley. I would just teach him to “just give his phone and money” because these thugs wouldn’t want anything else from him except that. I would worry less if he goes out on dates or clubbing. He could probably skip the lesson of “always keeping your eyes on your drink” and how to call emergency if ever your drink was drugged - because those scenarios only happen in the movies, right?
I’m neither selfish nor a self-centered mother-to-be that wants to evade all “extra work” that comes with having a daughter. As a girl who knows how my mom warned me of all things that come along with the fact that I’m born with a vagina between my legs - being a boy just seems, for a lack of better word, easier.
If my child is born and grows up as a woman, she’ll have to find the perfect balance of preparing how she looks. Because if by chance she puts too much makeup, she’ll be branded as an attention seeker. Or if she just puts less of an effort on how she physically looks, she’ll be criticized for “not taking care of herself.” She needs to carry an extra emergency napkin and a concealed pepper spray in a purse only for people to ask why she brings so much when going out. If she wants to wear something short and it makes her feel confident, she’ll have to be constantly conscious of her surroundings because the chances of someone harassing or touching her without consent is just too high - and if ever someone does, it’s her fault for calling attention to herself. She couldn’t be too smart or outspoken without someone branding her as intimidating and scary. She couldn’t be too strong and athletic without being called manly, as if women couldn’t be strong too. I would love my future child so much that I wouldn’t wish her to be a girl or any other gender on the spectrum - because being so would just be so much harder.
When I have a child, I silently hope for a boy. When I have that balloon popping moment at my baby gender reveal in the future - I’ll gently whisper a wish that the powder inside is blue.
When I have a child, I wouldn’t wish for a girl - because this world is not yet good enough for her.
Image from: Gina Brocker Photography, https://ginabrocker.com/in-home-lifestyle-session/